My lovely BAFTA Predictions

Good Afternoon, and hello.  This is the classic period period where bloggers apologise for not updating their blog for a little while, and alas it has now come for me.  However, unlike those other nunces, I really mean it.

I was listening to Steve Wright the other day and someone was saying that the average blog lasts three months.  Well all of the blogs that I have tried to keep to before this (and trust me, there have been a few), have lasted much less than three months, so I’m not even at the average status.  How tragic.  However, although I haven’t updated this little page for a while, it is simply a delayed post rather than me giving up.  Thus, I am not average!

I was also going to start a new blog, so it would be like turning over a new leaf like you did in Primary School at the beginning of the half term if you’d been naughty.  However, this blog got a few clicks through some of the previous posts that I’d made, so I’m seeing myself as a film star at the building of the success of my last ‘hit’.  Although there were only three people visiting yesterday (and they probably took one look at it and decided it wasn’t for them), it is more reassuring than feeling like you’re typing to yourself.

Anyway, to the meat of my post.  Today, as you probably know is the BAFTAs.  The film one, as apposed to that other one on TV, and that other weird one with Trever McDonald that isn’t really the BAFTAs but done by ITV and you vote for the winners so it all turns out a bit rubbish.  And although I haven’t seen almost all of the films that are on the nominations list, I thought that I would give you my predictions all of which have been calculated using a trusted method, so please don’t complain.

BEST FILM

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button – This is about a man whose at one point “Sev-n, but I look alot a’lder” played by Brad Pit with quite a lot of makeup on.  He gets younger and his girlfriend gets older, so they have a good time about midway and the rest is a bit tricky because it’s approaching pedophilia.  I always feel paedophilia adds a lot to a film, and PIXAR should consider it for Toy Story 3.  However it’s over 2 hours which is more than enough for any paedophile.

Frost/Nixon – This is about where that old man Frost met that president called Nixon.  Like most of these films, I haven’t seen it but I heard that Frost and Nixon had a jolly good chat, so they decided to make it into a film.  Lovely.

Milk – A film about a Gay politician in America, and some of the things that happened to him.  The poster has a picture of the man (Harvey Milk), and although it does seem like a good film, his nose on the poster seems surprisingly large.

The Reader – A nice light film (either comedy or children’s) about the Holocaust.  It’s the one that Kate Winslet won something the Globe for and then everyone laughed at her because she cried, and then thanked everyone under the sun and then forgot the name of that other woman who was also up for the award but didn’t win.  For some reason she wanted to thank her.  Fuck them Kate!  Do you really think they’d be thanking you if they won?

Slumdog Millionaire – In sticking with the fluffy subjects the other films in this category have gone with, Slumdog millionaire features the subject of poverty.  He wins millionaire but no one believes he could do it.  It incorporates a bit of a love story as well, but then so did Bride Wars, so don’t let you think that will make it automatically good.  I was unsure weather this would win, but then found out that it has a bollywood dance at the end, so definitely will win.

Believe it or not, I was going to do that for all of the categories, but there’s quite a lot, so I’ll just say that WALL-E better win something because that’s one of the only films I’d seen on the list, plus it’s really good.

So, when am I getting that Times gig reviewing films?