The Election! Aaa!

You know who you should vote for

I would like to start of with a comment for my American friends.  Unless you have a fetish for odd shaped potatoes, you know you shouldn’t be voting for McCain.  In the words of Russell Brand (!) please vote for Obama on behalf of the rest of the world.  Thank you.

Although, we will be able to complain loads if McCain gets in, and impressionists will have a field day.  I do however think it might be able to get someone in whose policies make a bit of sense and who doesn’t have a running mate who would be more suited to playing with her crayons in the corner.  I swear that Sarah Palin is pretty much for everything that I’m not.  And she looks a little like a roosting cockral, which is my real concern really.

Drama at the Thornbury FM studio yesterday, one of the advert breaks wouldn’t play!  I was playing in a show for Gillingstool Primary school, and getting to the second advert break it didn’t want to play.  I luckily had some music lined up to play in emergencies and used the old software instead.  Unfortunately this meant the show ran a bit late so I had to fade out to the news half way through a little girls story that was being read out.  It must be a little disheartening to hear “FROM ALVESTON TO FALFIELD, THORNBURY FM” half way through your story about an enchanted bag of beans.  So sorry about that.

Well I’m going for lunch today at the old Wyveal garden center, and will probably have roast beef or something.  Strange as some people are complaining to become the most powerful person in the world, and I’m going to Wyveal and my drama of the day is the adverts not playing properly on local radio.  Wouldn’t like to be in politics though, as most politicians look in some way odd.  Our current prime minister is a prime example of this, well perhaps a slightly top end example of oddness.

Christmas is coming, and I’ve just realised that as well as getting things myself I’ve got to buy other people presents!  One tactic is to buy people things that I want.  I did that accidentally last year when I bought the entire ‘Faulty Towers’ box set for my parents, which I’ve not inherited.  I suppose it would be bad to do that two years in a row.

Oh well, my grandma is getting ‘Mock the Week – Too hot for TV’ this year.

Lewis Hamilton is officially pritty good

Well done you, now don't get all cocky about it

Very pleased Mr. Hamilton won the old race today.  Well, he didn’t win the race, he came fifth but that gave him enough points to actually come first overall even though he wasn’t on the podi… well he’s won the championship alright!  Which is good.  However it is a shame he comes across a little bit crap in interviews, but I think that that’s a requirement for being a good sports person.  Andy Murray comes across as a scottish fruit that just sits there and you’re not too interested in what he has to say and he annoys you a bit, but I recon, and hold me out on this one: he’s quite good at tennis.  In fact, David Beckham is considered a good person to interview in the world of sport.

More in the news today about how the BBC should cut the salaries of TV presenters.  I went to the paper shop and saw all the headlines about ‘BBC starving Fat Cats’, apart from the Daily star who went for ‘Single Simon [Cowell] wants my body’, a real pressing issue for everyone I feel.

Today was the last day I could listen to Radio 1 with a clear conscious.  Because from tommorow every waking moment will most likely be spent listening to Thornbury FM (it starts tommorow you know – thornburyfm.org).  I might be able to sneak in a bit of Chris Moyles in the morning, but I think it unlikely, I shall be waking up in the morning to the sound of Gary Price at 7.  Why not do the same?  I and Thornbury FM will love you forever if you do, especially if they play my promo in the morning (wishful thinking).

Didn’t go to the Circus today mind.  Left it a bit too late again.  I’ve been the past few years though.  I think I secretly want to run away and join the circus, but unfortunately I don’t have any skills.  I can juggle, but that took me a good few years to learn and that’s just with 3 balls.  I could learn to do something quite impressive, however I am simply too lazy.  I’d probably wind up being a sad depressed clown who isn’t very good that has nothing better to do with it’s life than watch countdown between the 3 bloody shows you have to do a day.  Hmm, maybe.

Obama and McCain, Obama and McCain, eee-oor eee-orr Obama and McCain

Both flirting outrageously as usual

Well nothings going to get my blog higher in search results than putting Obama and McCain in the title of my post.  I think everyone knows who really should win the election between these two, if not for anything else I don’t think it’s healthy for a man with the head the shape of McCain’s should ever be anywhere near the Whitehouse.  Honestly, I don’t trust anyone whose got a head shaped like that.  His policies aren’t great either, but I think the real subject we should go back to is that he’s old so will probably smell funny.

People say that old people smell of piss, but I don’t think that’s entirely true.  Some of them just…smell.  I was sat next to one on the bus, and the stench from her was awful, but I couldn’t quite make out what it was.  It certainly wasn’t wee, I’d know that smell if I saw it but it was generally just ‘oldness’.  Perhaps she was biodegrading.  We shall never know.

But that women, Sarah Palin is something else.  She does have a few odd ideas about her doesn’t she?  I’m not sure if she is in touch with any form of moedern civilisation, or if she does she certainly hides it well.  I have to say it does annoy me slightly that God gave her the gift of speech.

So, moving on from that irrelevant and unimportant topic of the American election, let’s move onto something which is more relevant for all of us.  Me on local community radio.

I’m involved with Thornbury FM on the first day of broadcast on Monday, which is quite nice.  I’m playing in the Gillingstool (a local school) show for the ‘Are you Listening Campain’.  I got the CD this afternoon and have had a quick listen to it, so I’m one of the first to hear it.  Okay, I’ll argree it’s not the greatest exclusive, but it’s something huh?  I’m going to have to try and stop myself from turning their show down and using the airtime myself for the brand new game ‘Celebrawho?!’.  You’ll have to listen next Saturday 7-8pm if your interested (thornburyfm.org).  I’m also involved with my friend James’s show on Thursday night 10-12pm which is always fun.  1 day to go, wow.

We were going to go to the Circus today, but we left it too late.  I might try and go tomorrow, I really like the Circus.  The last time I went was a bit disappointing though.  It was Billy Smart’s circus so I was expecting big things, and some of the stuff was quite good, especially ‘Chico’ the clown.  But a woman walking up and down upside down on a bit of wood with a broom stick is probably a bit of circus entertainment which is a bit too ‘high brow’ for me.

Free-eee Nelson Mandela… I mean Jonathan Ross

How I miss his little face...

Alright, I’m not going to make a huge thing out of it like I want to.  I’m just going to say I’m sad Russell Brand has resigned, and I’m annoyed at the BBC for it’s childish actions of suspending Jonathan Ross for 3 months.  I ask the 30,000 who complained where were you almost two weeks ago now when the show was broadcast and before the media took it all grossly out of context.  On that subject, all of the papers this morning had something about Brand resigning, apart from the Sun who went for “Brand shouted ‘que’ in bed”.  Lovely Georgina there (Sach’s granddaughter), who said anything that happend between her and Russell should be kept private.  Selling your story to the Sun is one way of doing it I suppose, but your dignaty will go into minus figures.

I shall enjoy watching Ponderland on Channel 4 tonight, and will enjoy reading Rossy’s new book.  Mwahahahaha…

Anyways, quiet day today, but Monday I went to the Mall, Tuesday I went to the Mall, Wednesday I went to the Mall and today I went to Wyveal Garden Center cos’ I’m cool.  Also, because of complicated reasons of different people wanting to watch a different film, I saw Ghost Town twice on as many days (ie. Monday and Tuesday).  It still reamins to be really, really good, and very, very funny.  It was in exactly the same screen, with exactly the same adverts so I was in a constant Dejavu, especially since there were MORE kids talking and screeming at the back, and I was thinking of thinking of throwing something even harder at their pathetic little heads.  But still, it was quite nice to get the view from the other side of the cinema.

I’ve been working on my essay, which is boring, but also working on my Magic act, which is more exciting.  It’s shaping up well, I’m at the stage where I’m getting a bit frustrated as I’m passed the creative bit (which is equally frustrating to be honest) and onto the “let’s go through the act again without dropping the ball”.  I think it’s going well, but the french music I’m doing it to is getting in my head!  I don’t even understand what the words mean!  Someone help me!

Thornbury FM starts on Monday.  Argh!  It just had to creep up on me like that, didn’t it?  Really looking forward to my show, Saturdays 7-8pm if you didn’t know.  I’m involved in a tonne of other shows as well, so something tells me it’s going to be a bit of a manic November.  Imagine the uproar if I made a prank phone call to Andrew Sacchs then?  Last year someone complained because I mispronounced a word.

In full support of Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross

Brand and Ross remain world class at what they do

(If you haven’t heard the story, check out http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7692911.stm)

So, it happend.  There is a lot of stuff in the media about Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand leaving “offensive” messages on Andrew Sachs’s answer phone during his show.  I am making this post in full support of Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross.

This was a pre-recorded show.  As Alexander Armstrong stated earlier today caution is lifted slightly by presenters when a show is pre-recorded, as they feel that the show will be moderated for any material which is unbroadcastable.  Therefore it is the senior producer’s fault underliningly that if the broadcast was deemed unacceptable under ofcom’s terms it was still broadcasted.

As for the phonecall itself, while I was listening to the phonecalls being made on the podcast (which most people criticising Brand and Ross haven’t seem to of done) I did not feel at the time that it was in any way offensive.  This was, although probably on the slightly edgier side of the comedian’s material, not particularly out of the ordinary things for the show to broadcast.  This is not Gardener’s Question Time.  It’s 9 – 11pm on a Saturday night, you expect the material to be pushing the boundries slightly.

Did Ross and Brand cross the line in what is acceptable?  I’m probably not the best to judge on that.  What I find acceptable and what other people find acceptable differ, and I found the show was edgy and thoroughly entertaining.  But I have to go back to the fact that this was a pre-record, and Ross and Brand were working in the security that it was not going to be broadcast live.

The complaints I find ridiculous.  A couple of days ago TWO complaints were made.  When it was publicised slightly, it was upped to 1585 complaints.  Now it’s widely publicised there’s over 10,000 complaints.  Where were these people when it was broadcast over a week ago?  Why not broadcast the news to the rest of the world and the rest of the world’s pensioners can send in their complaints as well?

Andrew Sachs has spoken out about his feelings.  It is clear that he has been offended, so of course an apology is courteous.  But with comedy, it is very easy to keep pushing, and occasionally in some people’s book the line will be crossed.  But isn’t it better to have innovative comedy, which pushes the boundaries and makes for fantastic entertainment.  Because underliningly, it’s either that or knock knock jokes.

In full support of Jonathan Ross, I have bought his book today, and I am asking you to do the same.  Buy Russell Brand’s book as well while you’re at it.

There’s been a few comments I’ve heard from other people, several old women on the news waiting to go into Alan Tichmarsh’s show pretty much said they should be sacked.  However, in reply to this, I will rieterate they were going into Alan Tichmarsh’s show.  Enough said.

Gordon Brown has also given his response:

“This is clearly inappropriate and unacceptable behaviour, as is now widely recognised”

Thanks Gordon for that valuable contrabution.  You’re always there when you need us.

This place aaa-aaa is getting like a Ghost Town

Ricky great as ever

Saw Ghost town today at the cinema.  Really, really good.  It’s a classic love story with a great twist, but most of all it’s hilarious.  Ricky Gervais is fantastic as ever, I remain a huge fan.  But people at the back of the cinema were talking in bits of it which made me want to hit something heavy at them.  They were only young, so it would of been a hit well spent.  Anyway go see it, go, go now.

I’m thinking of doing the Young Magician of the Year competition again next year.  For those who don’t know I entered a couple of years ago (it’s only on once every two years) and came balls out last.  Well, I may not have come last, but I probably did as I only did 3 minutes of magic in a 7 minute act.  In a MAGIC competition.  You can look it up on YouTube if you’re so inclined, but I’m not going to post it here!  But I’m thinking of doing it again, with controversially an act with a bit of magic in it.  I can’t tell you what I’m going to do yet, but I recon it’s quite good.

I’m going to the cinema AGAIN tommrrow.  All this socialising in such short time could send a recluse like myself insane.  Well, I do quite like people and socialising, but as Jonathan Ross says it has to be under my terms.  Besides, I’ve got a magic act to rehearse.

Talking of Jonathan Ross, him and Russell Brand are in the news about a prank phone call to Andrew Sachs on his Radio 2 show.  I heard the show, and in my opinion Andrew Sachs should have been prompted on the nature of the show before he agreed to be on it.  I don’t blame Jonathan or Russell at all, and when listening to the show itself I found the whole affair hilarious.  I’ll make a ranty post if anything more is made of it.  Now I’ve said that, I’d quite like to make a ranty post.  I’ll send a death threat to the BBC.

I’m not watching X Factor

Who doesn't love it deep down?

It’s not that I don’t like it, I missed the start because I was eating stir fry.  I might just watch the results show tonight, because I do quite enjoy it.  It’s not as good now though because there’s 4 judges and Sharon’s gone.  And I get a bit annoyed the winner always gets the Christmas Number One.  I remember the good old days when the Christmas Number One went to Bob the Builder.

Anyway, I did go and see the Walworth farce on Thursday and it was amazing.  Really, it was outstanding.  I don’t want to ruin it for anyone but it’s a farce within a play, and has a really strong message behind it.  If you have the chance, you must go and see it.  I’m not particularly looking forward to writing the fat long essay that comes after it though.  I try and make the stupid things enjoyable to read, but by the fifth page trying to make pulling apart a drama performance in the name of an AS award not resemblant to stabbing yourself in the head becomes difficult.

On half term now, or ‘end of term 1′ or whatever they call it now.  I’m going to see Ricky Gervais’s new film ‘Ghost Town’ next week.  Huge fan of Ricky and pretty much everything he does, especially his stand up and the Office.  So much so I have to limit on how many times I watch it, I love it too much!  I don’t really like watching the Office with friends, because I’m in denial that anyone else knows about it.  Anyway, as much as I’m not huge on films I’m looking forward to it.

I’ve also submitted my entries for the National Television Awards on the ITV site.  As I’ve said before I’m not hot on Actors or Soaps for that matter, so whenever a ‘best actor(tress)’ thing came up I just voted for the Hollyoaks one.  I don’t even watch Hollyoaks, it just seems a bit more ‘hip’ than the other options.

I’m reading Alan Carr’s book ‘Look who it is!’ at the moment and it’s great, he’s a really talented writer and it’s a really interesting read.  There’s so many autobiography’s out at the moment its a bit crazy, Octobers the month for celebrity autobiographys to be released, and Novembers the month for Stand Up DVDs to be released.  Honestly there’s about six that I’ve got my eye on, so I’ve got to stop buying novelty songs from iTunes.  As much as I love the Werzles, they’re going to have to wait.

My mate Gordo

Do you think he’s smiling inside?

I know what you’re thinking, yesterday you had a picture of Andrew Lloyd Webber, today I’ve got Gordon Brown, who the hell have I got tomorrow?  Gordo, as I call him said that we might go into a recession.  I would comment but I don’t really know what it means, other than people aren’t buying as much stuff as they used to (although apparently oxfam is doing well, so maybe it will be them taking over the world instead of tesco).  I think it might be the credit crunch’s fault, someone should beat some discipline into that child.  The only effect of the credit crunch I’ve had so far is the price of diet coke at the lesuire center has gone from £1 to £1.10.  It’s a pressing concern, I know.

In other news I hear that Zac Efron is going to be in the new Pirates of the Carabien movie.  In a vain attempt to keep this away from being a ’slag off a celebrity’ blog (if it’s not too late!) it’s probably best if I don’t comment. 

Hopefully we’ll get there in good time, although I am worried that time will be short in London.  Or rather my stomach is.  We got there in plenty of time when we went to the National in September, but we ate at a really dodgy Chinese buffet place.  My stomach normally makes the odd noise when I’ve just eaten but watching ‘War Horse’ (which is really good by the way) after eating that it sounded as if it was going through torture.  I didn’t think anyone heard it apart from me, but my friend has since the people who were sitting behind us were laughing.  Idiots.  I bet their stomach makes noises, and they smell and their Mum works in McDonalds and they smell.  Ha, owned.

Going back to my earlier question though, who is going to be the picture on the blog tomorrow?  Well, unfortunately there won’t be a blog tomorrow.  I’m going to the National, darling.  Well, the National Theatre in London with school to see ‘The Walworth Farce’.  I’m looking forward to it, although not so much to the bloody long essay that will come after it.  We’re leaving at 3:30pm, which is annoying because it means I still have to do my Biology test tommorow.

Euro-Llyod Webber

He's writing the eurovision song you know...

I never thought getting a picture of Andrew Lloyd Webber into a post would be such hard work.  I did’t even particually want a picture of him on here.  It’s me desperatly trying to find an initial subject for the post that might show up on popular searches people are making at the moment, and thus might visit me blog.  I then realised that no one really is searching about Andrew Lloyd Webber and eurovision.  Don’t get me wrong, I like Andrew Lloyd Webber, but if they were searcing for him they are probably the kind of people I want to stay away from.  Therefore the exercise has proved to be a waste of time.  Oh well, it was either that or say Billie Piper’s pregnant or something, but I don’t have a clue about who actors are or what they’e doing.  Honestly, someone mentioned Samuel L. Jackson to me the other day and I said “Oh yeah…I think I’ve heard of him…”

Anyway, Andrew Lloyd Webber’s doing the eurovision song contest or something.  Well writing the song that is, although wouldn’t it be great if he was performing?  I personally want to see him do Ukraine’s entry from a couple of years ago “Verka Serduchka – Danzing”.  If that didn’t make us win I don’t know what would.

Anyway, had to do a bit of emailing round today about going into various schools to record ‘Shout Outs’ for Thornbury FM.  We want them to say something like “We love Thornbury FM”.  Meh, I don’t know if they’ll even get back to me about it.  Maybe I’ll fake them if they don’t.  I could record myself on Helium and pretend to be a 12 year old, but I’m afraid of sounding too manly.  For I am of course the most manly person you’ll ever see, so much so I even won an arm wrestle against a 12 year old once.  I had to bribe her to let me win though.

Boycott Jordan Sparks for Russell Brand

Boycott her for the good of humanity

If you’re living in the UK you’re probably already going “Who?”.  She’s a singer who’s quite good apparently, she won that America singer talent show thing.  Why Boycott?  Because of those VMAs, that’s why.  I was reminded of the whole incident today while looking for some Russell Brand clips, and it got me all cross it did.

I know the whole thing about Russell Brand at the VMAs is old news but it still winds me up majorly.  If you don’t know what the whole polava is about, Russell made a few jokes about the Jonas Brother’s purity rings at the VMAs, and now America is now a bit pissed off.  Jordan Sparks said at the evening:

“I just have one thing to say about promise rings. It’s not bad to wear a promise ring because not everybody – guy or girl – wants to be a slut”

Oh shut up.  It’s called a Joke, it’s not supposed to be taken seriously.  He’s a comedian, he pokes fun at people including himself.  And then I had to endure a load of videos of American TV shows on YouTube saying what a bad comedian Russell Brand was and what a bad job he did at hosting the VMAs.  He did a bloody fantastic job, and all his jokes were great.  But then I suppose some gormless woman who has a face like a roosting hawk on “Showbiz tonight”  would know what a good comedian is.  I’d be intrested to see what hawk lady’s favourite comedian is.  It’s a shame because  Jordin Sparks comes across as really likable, but if she can’t take a joke forget it.

Anyway, I’m a bit weary today.  Got up late because I went to bed late: I’m such a lightweight.  I have the radio blaring out of my speakers from 6:30 and I still manage to sleep through it.

I also had an egg for breakfast for the first time in ages.  It’s supposed to make my stomach not complain too much.  God gave me the wrong stomach.  I’ll eat anything, but if it’s slightly different to what I normally have on a certain day, my stomach gives me grief about it.  It will gurgle away like I’ve fed it some kind of poisonous substance.  But today I think it’s been better today because of the egg.  I don’t know if the egg has given my internal organs a team talk, but if it has it seems to have worked.